Anxiety Series: Invisible Audience...

My Husband would invite me to go out and eat dinner, and I would say no you go order the food and we can take-out. He always thought I was embarrassed of him, until one day I told him, "I don't like going to eat because I feel like everyone is looking at me." This is honestly the lamest shit I could ever think. 

One day while sitting in a lecture-class, the professor spoke about the "Invisible Audience."  She said that people who have severe anxiety issues usually avoid social interaction because they feel that they are constantly being judged by others. The reason behind this can vary from person, to person. One day, I started working on my anxiety over the going to dine at restaurants. I began by ordering what I wanted, and then eating my food as if I were at home, and not bothered by others. This was actually not that hard to do because I just kept thinking that nobody cared about what I was eating, or doing. 

As time went by, I tried to push myself a little further and tried not to focus so much on the negative aspects of the anxiety I was feeling. It is difficult to talk about this, I feel like nobody really understands the feeling. Usually, the people I come across are very outgoing, and don't really care about others looking at them, or even care if other people are present. I have worked on this for the longest time, and I feel like I have broken through the stigma of the social anxiety that is just in my head. 

When I had a bad day, and I would get invited to social gatherings to go and eat, I always felt that I had to take my Husband for support. It sounds ridiculous, but he is the only one that understands me (i feel). He will eat as much as I do, and isn't shy about getting what he wants to eat. He is my number one supporter. I cannot express how thankful I am to have him there with me. 

Social Anxiety is a secret burden that seems like nobody understand it unless they have experienced it themselves. It is difficult to tell co-workers, or friends and family the extent of my anxiety. It usually doesn't go well because they don't understand how a person with anxiety will do everything in their power to stay away from social gatherings for fear of being judged or misinterpreted. 

To be continued...